Once upon a time there was a girl. She was curious and lively and she really didn’t give a rat’s ass what others thought. She climbed trees and ran with boys and was also kind and sensitive and let herself cry…even without having a good reason.
As the girl grew up, it became harder and harder to be that way. The tiny Voice that once whispered to her as a child – the Voice that sang to her,
“You can be anything or nothing at all. Whatever you choose to be you’ll be.”
That Voice grew smaller and smaller and smaller, until it almost f a d e d a w a y.
So the girl replaced the Voice with boys and worry and doubt and an endless search for the perfect job. She obsessed over money and calories [how easily we seek perfection when our Voice isn't there to guide us] ... and she all but fell a-p-a-r-t.
Then one day over lunch with her boyfriend, she felt a tug. A strange feeling in the bottom of her GUT that said,
“You’re not who I thought you were. I’m not who I thought I was.”
She shrugged it off and ignored it and shut that door (tight!).
“But we’re so right for each other" she cried, "and what about X, Y and Z?”
“What about our future together?”
“No,” the Voice said, “it’s not for you.”
And the girl began to listen as the Voice grew louder and louder, until one day the boyfriend was no longer her boyfriend. And the Voice said,
“You may rest.”
Months later she heard it again – telling her another thing she was reluctant to hear:
"YOU ARE GOING DOWN THE WRONG PATH!” it cried.
“But how?”
“LISTEN”
“But what if?”
“LISTEN”
“But why me?”
“LISTEN”
“But…what now?”
“….LISTEN…” it begged.
This time instead of turning her back on love she turned away from money, security, a definite direction. She turned away from everything she’d come to expect of her life. And there was pain and fear and
an ocean of
ANXIETY.
And it was very hard. It rained tears and the ocean grew bigger and scarier and the girl felt like she’d just float away – like there’d be nothing to keep her tethered to the ground, to the life she’d come to know. Yet in the midst of the storm and the noise the girl still heard the Voice. This time it wouldn’t tell her
“Yes” or
“No”
“Go this way” or
“Go that way.”
This time, as the girl strained to hear the tiny whisper deep within her she heard a new song:
LET GO
“Say what?” the girl asked from the middle of her ocean of fear and grief and loneliness.
LET GO!! the voice screamed again.
And this time instead of waiting and questioning and wondering about 1-2 -3 and X-Y-Z and money and calories and direction and fame and all of those other people in the peanut gallery, she did just that.
She jumped in the water.
And miracle of miracles, she didn’t sink or get swept away (at least not too far) because suddenly she was that girl again. The girl who wasn’t afraid to get her feet wet, to climb trees and to ignore what other people thought. Soon she felt her feet hit solid ground. The tide descended and the sand felt warm between her toes.
And the voice said
“Well done. You may rest.”
Laura, I loved your story, even through my tears! I am so happy that you are listening to the Voice. It may be hard, but it's the right thing for you to do/be/not do/just be. I love you and am so proud of your listening and waiting and being!
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