On Sunday during church I decided that the solution to all of my problems (aka, lack of sleep, PMS & an intense diet coke and donut craving), would be to get this haircut, à la Karla of Karla's Closet. I've had this haircut many times over the last 8 years, since I took the first fateful chop at my then waist length hair . . . and for some reason yesterday seemed like the perfect day to take my shoulder length hair up a few inches. And now I'm filled with a little bit of haircut regret. It's a beautiful haircut and looks just swell, but it's no longer me. The last time I had this haircut I was in a bad relationship . . . and like items of clothing or the patronage of certain weekend hot spots, some things shouldn't survive past the relationship. Looking at myself in the mirror today I felt like I did when I was with my ex. My hair, perfectly straightened and hair-sprayed, looking much like it would were I a 40-year-old Realtor, suddenly felt like I used to: restricted. Being with my current boyfriend, M, is like stepping out of the shower and letting my naturally curly hair dry however it feels like drying. I'm free to be the real me, no questions asked. I don't want a daily reminded of my old ways and old relationships . . . but unfortunately hair isn't a t-shirt to change or a cafe to stop frequenting. Until it grows out I'll see it as a reminder of how far I've come. I'll know that from here on out I'm able to be whomever I want to be and that I have a boyfriend who is just as excited as I am to see who I become.
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