Today as I was cleaning out my giant box of keepsakes, throwing out old letters and pictures that I no longer needed to hold onto, I came upon this letter that I'd written well over a year ago. It's funny how true it is... how the things I never believed possible then, after going through a rough breakup have come true today.
Sunday, April 4, 2010Dear Laura,
Someday when you're holding your husband's hand, or strolling alone through a farmer's market in a new city or in a job where you feel passionate about the work you do every single day, someday all of this will make sense to you. All of the pain of breaking up (over and over again) will seem like the rain that helped the new flowers of your life grow. Just as you've found career direction after wandering in the proverbial desert, you'll figure out all of this relationship stuff in time and appreciate it all the more. Then you won't seek any approval other than God's, you'll trust your gut completely and you'll surround yourself with people who'll make you feel the most YOU you've ever felt. So be done with doubting, with the people who make you feel unsteady and uncertain. Learn the Grey on your own terms instead of being pulled into it by someone else. And above all else, BE GENTLE with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve and cry and feel. Refuse to be numb to pain, to your life. Know that I love you and will never, ever leave you. You are mine and I have called you by name.
I feel so grateful to have made it through that difficult time in my life and appreciate the relationship I have today one million times more than had I not gone through that time. I'm still slowly plodding through all of the grey in life but I'm having a grand old time doing just that. xo.